Valentine's Day

February 12, 2009

Valentine's Day came, and with it the trip to Oklahoma which had precluded my original proposal plans. I flew out to Texas on Thursday night to be greeted by my loving new fiancée. After our joyous reunion, we headed to our respective lodgings for the night.

Friday was a day spent in a blur of preparations and driving. We spent the morning clothes shopping, and then joined up with Rebecca's family for the drive to Oklahoma. We were going to a location about an hour east of Norman, and Rebecca and I rode with Jason, Allison, and Rachel, thus packing out Allison's sedan. That was by far one of the most enjoyable experiences I've shared with her family, as we spent nearly the whole drive talking and laughing and just having fun.

We arrived at the hotel Friday night, where we met some of the Craigs' extended family immediately. I knew Mr. Craig's sister (Laura) from Rebecca's visit to Florida in October, but I had not met Clark (whom I think is also Mr. Craig's brother). We spent a small amount of time hanging out one of our many hotel rooms, spending time with Clark, Laura, and her family. Then it was time for bed. I crashed in a room with Jason and Daniel.

The next morning was Valentine's Day itself. Rebecca and I exchanged small gifts and then began the gauntlet for me. For nearly that entire day, I met relatives whose names and faces I mostly can't remember. The people that stood out to me and whom I still remember were Rita (Rebecca's sweet grandmother who reminds me of my own), Clark, and Harry (either Mr. or Mrs. Craig's cousin, I think).

Around lunchtime, the whole crowd converged on the great-grandmother's house who was the cause of all the commotion. It was her 100th birthday party, and relatives from all across the country had gathered to celebrate with her. We met up with even more relatives at the house, and the place was a veritable beehive. I met the lady of honor myself, and though she was very old and not in good health (she had to be fed and carried to her wheelchair), she still had her sense of humor. Someone asked her how old she was now, and she said simply, "Twenty-one."

We spent most of the day there, finally leaving around suppertime. We picked up some food on the way back to the hotel and then the infamous Craig extended family card games began in the breakfast room. Rebecca told me that they would frequently stay up until all hours of the morning playing. I stayed up until near midnight myself, playing Bridge with Mr. Craig, Harry, and Clark. I had never played before, but seemed to pick it up pretty well. The next morning, I heard that people (including Mr. Craig) had in fact played card games for several hours after I went to bed.

As a consequence of this, you can imagine that everyone was pretty tired on the way home. Indeed, Mr. Craig and Lauren were going straight to the airport (not even stopping at the house), because they were flying out for a debate competition. Mrs. Craig drove for a long way, but eventually she was exhausted and asked me to drive. It was my first time at the wheel of a 15-passenger van, and I was very nervous...especially in light of the fact that I was carrying most of my future in-laws! But beyond taking a wrong turn for fifteen or twenty minutes on the way to the airport, we experienced no mishaps and arrived home safely after dropping off the two departing family members.

The next day I spent nearly entirely with Rebecca. We hadn't had much alone time at all that visit, so we made the most of the time I had left. We had our Valentine's Day date that night, which was a really sweet time. But the time for me to leave came all too soon, and we soon bid each other a tearful goodbye at the airport. Nevertheless, hope was in the air....our wedding date was not so terribly far away!

The Big Day

January 3, 2009

I awoke with a feeling of anticipation and a slight sense of dread. I didn't really doubt what her answer would be, but I was very intimidated by the huge committment I was about to make. I continued talking to the Lord about it and my nervousness had faded slightly by mid-morning. Rebecca knew we were going for a picnic, but nothing really more than that. It was so cool how it had been set up the previous day. Mr. Craig had suggested I somehow get her to think it was her idea to go to the gardens. I didn't know how, but I decided to try. We were talking about where to go for the picnic and I asked innocently if she knew of any really pretty places in the area. With no prompting whatsoever, she said, "Well, the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens are really nice." I couldn't believe it. I said something like, "Oh really? Are there some pretty spots there?" She replied in the affirmative and said, "The Japanese Gardens are really pretty even this time of year." Externally, I said something nonchalant, but I was internally going "YES!" =D

The time drew near. I went upstairs to get a last-minute "good luck" from Mrs. Craig. She and a few of the girls who were there prayed for me, I gave her a hug, and it was time to go. Rebecca and I stopped by Kroger for our favorite bread, some blueberries, and some sparkling apple cider. Rebecca had brought some crystal glasses and a tablecloth to sit on. She thought all this was just for a nice picnic....but the sparkling cider and the glasses would actually be quite appropriate considering what was about to happen.

I had stashed the ring in the bottom of my camera case, with my camera on top. Once we got inside the gardens, I pulled the camera out under the pretense of taking some pictures. When I finished, I slung it over my other shoulder without the case, leaving easy access to the ring. We walked around for a bit as I tried to find just the right spot. There were a lot of people in the garden at that time, which was a problem because Rebecca had told me in the past that she didn't want a proposal in front of a lot of people. So I was trying to find a spot that was pretty yet removed.

We meandered up to the foot of the waterfall and I wondered if I should do it there despite the people. I had my arm around Rebecca at that time, hugging her close as I thought. I was terrified that she could feel my heart beating so terribly fast....but I figured if she asked, I would pass it off as exertion from climbing the steps. But I needed to know if she would like this place. I very not-subtly asked, "Do you like this spot? Is it pretty to you?" She looked around and said, "No. There are too many people." At that point, I started to think that SOMEHOW she knew I was going to ask!

So we walked around a bit more until I finally found a quiet spot. It was at the edge of the gardens, where the path passes between a bamboo forest on one side and a low hill on the other. There was a little recess in the path and a bench, and best of all, no one was in sight. I had a whole speech thought up, but as I looked into her eyes, it fled. I think I still managed to say something about how we knew we would come to this day, because our relationship was always serious....and how it was perhaps sooner than we thought, but the fact that it was here was no surprise nonetheless. I know I did say (as I was pulling out the ring and dropping on one knee), "Rebecca...I love you and I can't live without you. Will you marry me?" She immediately clapped both hands to her face, grinned happily, and said "Yes, I'll marry you!" I stood up, gave her a joyful hug, and slipped the ring on her finger. =D =D =D

We spent the next few minutes just enjoying the feeling of being very giddily in love. Rebecca loved her ring and the way it sparkled, and I loved watching her be so thrilled. She positively glowed. After a few minutes, Rebecca's sister (Rachel) showed up. I had arranged with her to come and take pictures of us after the proposal.

Rachel played papparazzi for a while for us, then headed off. Rebecca and I left the gardens and went across the street to a park for our picnic. That afternoon stands out in my mind as one of the sweetest times we've ever shared with each other. We were so relaxed, happy, and in love...eating bread and blueberries and sipping sparkling cider and laughing.

Finally, it was time to head home. We packed up and returned to Rebecca's house, where she proudly showed off the ring to her family. The rest of the trip passed in a blur, colored entirely by our joy at finally being promised to one another.

New Year's

Late December, 2008

The end of the year brought another opportunity to visit Rebecca, and I prepared for it with great anticipation. I had discussed some important issues with her father, and had determined to pop the big question on Valentine's Day. However, I wanted to buy the ring when I was back home in WA over the break, because I could buy it in Oregon, where there is no sales tax. I planned to take the ring back with me to Florida via Texas, although I knew it would be hard to hold onto it without mentioning it as I was around her all week. But even though a man plans his way, the Lord directs his steps.....

I arrived in Dallas on the evening of December 30. Rebecca and I made our happy greetings and went to our respective lodgings for the night. The next day was New Year's Eve, but a fairly low key day as far as activities went. I had just had ACL reconstruction surgery on my left knee on December 12, so I was still rather fragile and had to take things pretty easy. One important thing that happened was that I received a text message from Christina (Rebecca's older sister) informing me that the entire family would be out of town on Valentine's Day. I could go with them, but I either had to find a way to make a special proposal in small-town Oklahoma, or I would have to do it another time. I was not happy with the prospect of waiting until mid-March, but the idea of doing it on this visit was rather scary too. My mind started churning.

January 1, as well as being New Year's Day, was also Mrs. Craig's birthday. The previous day had been partially spent preparing for the events of this day, including a massive surprise party with several extended family members and many friends arriving at their home at the same time. I spent the day meeting relatives and friends, which was both beneficial and a bit tiring.

One event of the day in particular made me chuckle. A family close to the Craigs had come over earlier that morning, and Mrs. Sessions was watching a video Rebecca had made me. She didn't know I was in the room, and asked Rebecca, "Are you engaged yet?" Rebecca replied in the negative, and Mrs. Sessions snapped her fingers and said something like "Oh, rats!" I snickered and said from behind her, "I'm getting there, don't rush me!" Mrs. Sessions was quite embarrassed, but it was very amusing to both Rebecca and me.

Friday morning, January 2, Mr. Craig and I went out for breakfast. This was the moment I had been nervously anticipating from the day I first began to like girls (instead of thinking they had cooties). Yes...the "May I have your permission to marry your daughter" conversation. 0_0 But first I had to figure out when to pop the question if he gave permission. We conversed a bit about proper timing and he stuck to what he had said before....essentially that it was my decision when to ask her. I brought up the Valentine's Day issue. He agreed that it would be difficult to get around. But the more I discussed it with him, the more I got the feeling that sooner would be better rather than later....especially because she was trying to do some wedding planning already and it was embarrassing to her when people realize that she's not engaged yet. So I began to seriously consider doing it over that weekend.

I was SO nervous. We made small talk for a while until our food arrived and I finally couldn't wait any longer. I said something along the lines of, "Mr. Craig, I will ask you a question I've been dreading to ask ever since I've liked girls.....may I have your permission and blessing to ask your daughter to marry me?" He nodded without hesitating, and I felt a large load lift off my back. I didn't honestly expect him to say no, but it was still nervewracking.

At that point, I was planning to do it the next day, January 3. Mr. Craig and I discussed some potential options as to how to do it, and I eventually settled on a picnic idea. Rebecca had already mentioned that she wanted to have a picnic on this visit, so proposing on such an outing would hopefully be a surprise. I knew Rebecca liked the sound of water, so I asked if there were any good waterfalls or the like in the area. He couldn't think of any, but suggested the Fort Worth Botanical Gardens. In fact, he offered to drive there immediately to scout out possible locations! (Do I have a cool future father-in-law or what? =D) I took him up on it and we drove off.

To this day, the next couple hours stand out in my mind as the most enjoyable time I've shared with Mr. Craig. We spent the whole drive there and back scheming for the next day and talking and laughing about women. The gardens were somewhat pretty, but it was January....meaning there wasn't much green. That is, until we went in the Japanese Botanical Gardens. Most of the vegetation there was elephant grass and bamboo, both of which were still very green. We found a couple beautiful places as potential spots. Mr. C cracked me up when he said that I should pop the question around lunchtime so that the sun wasn't too low in the sky and would glimmer off the ring really nicely. As we left the gardens, I knew that this was the place. Now I just had to pray and figure out if this was the time.

We returned home, where I deflected Rebecca's curiosity about why we were gone so long. I don't remember how the rest of the day was spent...it was overshadowed by the decision I had to make. Late that night, after she left, I lay out on the swing in the backyard and looked at the stars and prayed. It was a beautiful night. I put on my logic hat and had a conversation with myself.

"Why am I perturbed? Is this not the right time, or am I just afraid?"

"If I'm afraid, that's no reason to not do it. God has not given us a spirit of fear. What other reasons am I nervous?"

"Well, it feels rushed."

"What's wrong with that? Is being rushed really a bad thing, or is it just my C-type personality worrying about not having a concreted plan?"

"Hmm. I think that's my personality. The plan that I have is special...it's irrelevant that I just came up with it today."

"Ok, then. If I remove fear and remove my perfectionist tendencies, what do I have left?"

"Just apprehension at the gravity of the committment."

"Yes, and that's appropriate. But not a reason to delay if all other factors say to go."

"Ok.....let's do it."